


It's Not The Way It Used To Be

by MyPenName



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Missing Scene, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-14 22:59:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4583385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyPenName/pseuds/MyPenName
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lapis finds coming home after being a prisoner of war a lot harder than she thought. Everything is so different, especially herself. </p><p>This fic explores what happened to Lapis between Ocean Gem and The Return.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Great Crystal Gate

Lapis had been drifting in space for days now, but she was pretty sure she was close. She was going home, she felt a weightlessness that wasn’t just due to to lack of gravity or atmosphere. She was free; finally, finally free. She would have cried, but she needed to save every last bit of water she carried to maneuver once she got to the Great Crystal Gate, not to mention the other side. She’d only been through it once before when she had first come to this miserable planet but in her thousands of years of solitude she had often replayed the scene in her mind.

_“We’ve made it through the warp, from here on out we are in enemy territory. We should land on earth in 3 days time. Be sure to use the time acclimating to your human form. Oh, and you can get your first glimpse of Earth on the monitors.” Lapis stood among a couple dozen gems on the main deck of the ship, crowding forward with the rest to get her first glimpse of the blue-green planet that was tearing up the foundation of gem society._

_“What made this planet so special that gems would turn against their own kind?” she overheard another gem mutter._

Thousands of years of reflection later Lapis still didn’t know the answer, and now she didn’t have to care. It was over. It was all over. She would never go back to that hunk of rock ever again. When she got back to Homeworld, she’d pick a different shape, maybe they colonized an ocean planet while she was trapped. She smiled at the thought. Freedom, freedom, freedom! She still felt thrills in the very core of her gem from just stretching her body - even if it was still shaped to fit the world that kept her prisoner. She wasn’t a mirror, she wasn’t cracked. She was flying, in space, toward home.

Although, after days of travel some of her giddiness was starting to wear thin. Why hadn’t she spotted the gate yet? It may have been 5,000 years, but she was confident in her memory, that was why she was here after all. Where was it? The damn thing should be glowing.

There was another matter she didn’t really want to ponder, but with little to distract herself the thought inevitably surfaced itself. Were any of her friends still alive? The people she came with to earth? The war was brutal on both sides she knew, but she was trapped so early - she didn’t know specifics. Homeworld wouldn’t be left unscarred either, not with the collapse of the old leadership or such an important source of new gems being destroyed. Surely they wouldn’t hurt the existing-

She almost flew right past it, but a glint of metal caught her eye. The Great Crystal Gate was there just a hundred yards to her left, and it was completely dark.

Sighing internally, she summoned the wings from her gem, leaving a trail of vapor in her wake to propel her. It’s not like it would hurt to check and she wasn’t quite prepared to consider the alternatives. How many thousands of millennia would it take to fly all the way back to Homeworld at her sublight speed? She wasn’t even sure if she knew it’s precise relative location to this colony. She pictured thousands of years drifting in empty space, solitary, the blackness pressing in slowly from all sides. “Okay, just stay calm Lapis. I’ve just got to … find a switch. Something that simple is definitely what’s kept Homeworld from coming back for 5,000 years. Yeah.” 

Lapis drifted toward the gate, it’s large black metal columns shaped into an enormous circle. She stretched out her arms ready to grab hold of the gate and start coming the columns for something to turn it on. As she was about to reach one of the columns, she saw something glassy catch the light.

She recoiled and tried to scream but there was no air in her makeshift lungs. " _Did you even wonder who I used to be!"_ The outburst sprang unbidden to her mind. This shouldn’t be a surprise. No, it wasn’t a surprise. She knew how gemtech worked. They were just shards; this was how gems fulfilled their duty to society after they died. Still, she couldn't help but wonder how many dead gems were used to craft this gate.

Her eyes taut with horror, Lapis forced herself to grab the column. She looked at the gem shards and started to shake in spite of herself. “This is what you want to go back to,” she reminded herself hollowly. With a trembling hand she reached out to touch a shard she guessed once belonged to a quartz. It looked as if it had been cut further after being broken to fit the neat thin oval shape impressed into the metal. As her finger connected it flashed with light, then the one next to it flashed and the next.

She looked up, her neck craning as she saw hundreds of different colored flashes, spiraling up into the darkness where the black column blended into black space. So many. “How many were killed to make it?” a treacherous part of her mind whispered. She shoved the thought out of her mind, she wasn’t a rebel. She just wanted to go home.

A white light flashed at the top of the gate. Lapis blinked in surprise. Was there something she could do? With renewed energy she climbed up the column. The flashing came from what appeared to be a service panel. She frowned as she reached it. There were a handful of knobs and buttons. Next to the blinking light, there was a square indentation with deep notches on each side. It was very specific pattern, and she had no idea where was she going to get gem pieces to fit that.

She looked back, the Earth was mostly in shadow right now. Any gem shards would be all the way back there, almost certainly under the control of the Crystal Gems. She doubted they’d just hand them over to repair this gate, if they even had ones that would fit. She thought about Steven, the only gem who had shown her kindness since her capture. She wondered what it would be like to stay on that planet, as herself, not a prisoner, with no war, a vast whole ocean to play in and maybe even a friend. But that friend belonged with enemies she could never forgive. She could no more live among the gems that had kept her captive than she could fly to Homeworld.

Resigned, she turned back to the gate. She was about to start haphazardly turning dials when her gaze fell on a symbol she hadn’t seen for a long time - four squares arranged in the pattern of a diamond. She was surprised to see it. “I guess no one bothered to repaint it.” She stared at the pink diamond with cold eyes. She went to cover it with her thumb in disgust, but as her thumb connected she felt that the pink diamond was ever so slightly raised from the metal. Frowning, she pressed down. A panel sprung open, revealing a pink bubble. Curious, she pulled the bubble toward her and peered inside.

Inside was translucent, white, square gem - whole, not even cracked, but cut to fit the notches on the gate. It was a moonstone. Lapis was chilled to her core. If she wanted to get home she had to reactivate the gate, but this ... this was monstrous. She couldn’t condemn another gem to the hell she had endured. Her eyes flicked between the bubbled gem and the waiting square hole. Lapis would release her, it was the only option.

“What if she’s corrupted,” an insidious voice inside her reasoned and Lapis hesitated. This gem wasn’t put here by the rebels, at least at first. Surely it was used because there was something wrong with it. There was no telling how the incisions affected the being inside the gem. If the gem was dangerous she was in trouble. She wouldn’t be able to fight out here, not alone, without water. She could put it in the slot, go home and come back for it with reinforcements. It sounded very reasonable, but even thinking it she knew there would be no coming back for it; gems on Homeworld wouldn’t be interested - they had put her here in the first place, and if she removed it on her own she would be stuck here. Again.

“What do I do?” the thought in her head a desperate whisper. She couldn't go back to Earth, and she couldn't get home without using this gem. Her hands shook. Trying to hold onto the bubble and the gate, she felt the bubble slipping from her grasp, so she tightened her fingers. Too hard. Her fingers slipped through a burst of pink light. Lapis stared in horror as the moonstone floated free for a moment and then began to glow with white light. With no time to think she grabbed the gem, looking at it for only moment as the light began to expand and trembling, shoved it into it’s slot. The light from the gem was snuffed out as black fittings snapped over it. The panel beside it stopped blinking.

Lapis covered her mouth with both hands. She drifted away from the panel paralyzed, her mind desperately trying to deny what she had done. The shards on the gate lit up again, a horrible rainbow of colors, this time staying on. She could see the gate vibrate; that snapped her out of it. This was wrong. She reached out, she would pull it back out and face the chance of a monster rather than condemn another gem to live to power a machine. She’d find another way. Her finger just brushed the Moonstone's surface; she had drifted too far. She summoned her wings. Just as she tried to propel herself forward the gate flared in a flash of white light and sucked her inside.

The light was harsh after days drifting in dark space. It took her a few moments to understand what happened - hand still grasping for a gem it couldn’t reach. Then the bright pastels surrounding her finally triggered her memories of warp travel. That was it then. She was going home. She pulled her wings into her gem and her knees up to her chest. This time she could only stop the tears, not the sobs. Her mind lost itself in a jumble of emotions and memories: anger at so much of her life had been wasted being trapped fueling a tool that was barely even used, the sickening guilt of probably condemning another gem to the same fate, and relief that she was finally, finally going home.

She had stopped crying by the time the tunnel unceremoniously spat her out the other side. She scrambled to turn herself around, the gates always ejecting away from Homeworld. She couldn’t see the planet, the light in the gate was too bright to see through. What she did see surprised her. There were more gates here than last time, she wasn’t sure how many, but when she had come through all those millennia ago it had been on the end of a line with just under a dozen; now there were at least half a dozen more she could see stretching to the left.

As she watched, a red ship emerged from the gate next to hers, oval, oblong, across the top something resembling a sail or a fin jutted upwards. She had never seen anything like it before. She turned her head the other way and saw other ships, several white orbs, a green one in the distance whose shape she couldn’t quite make out. She didn’t recognize their models either. A strange sense of dread started to fill her. This was the right place, it had to be. She came through the gate, after all.

Jaw set, she fluttered upwards so she could see over the gates. Relief flooded her. There it was, Homeworld. She had made it. Smiling she began to fly towards it, oblivious to the small black pod which had come to investigate what just came out of the long dead gate. She didn’t even know someone was behind her until the feeling of white hot lightning flashed through her body and she retreated into her gem in a puff of smoke.


	2. So Close, and Yet So Far

As soon as Lapis cemented her form in her mind she emerged from her gem, terrified she might get put back in a mirror or worse. Whoever grabbed her moved fast; when she emerged she was on the floor of a small, empty room, with three red walls and one yellow wall made of light. Prisoner again. In retrospect, it had happened stunningly similarly to last time. At least she was still herself, for now.

She drummed her fingers on the floor, then got up, restless. She had not permitted herself to dream about escaping Earth for a long time. The opportunity arose so suddenly she hadn’t really planned so much as acted. She should have known they wouldn’t just let her fly back through a long dead gate. Still, she was fairly confident that a little diplomacy was all that was needed here. They would see she was one of them and let her come home. They had to.

She walked up to the wall, the sound of her footsteps echoing in the cell sounding strange after her days in soundless vacuum of space. She’d never seen anything like it before. She reached out with a tentative hand.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” a deep, feminine voice said calmly. Lapis looked up startled, drawing her hand back. The gem that met her gaze stood off to the side, out of direct line from the door. She was slightly shorter than Lapis, rounder. She wore a space uniform, the style was unfamiliar, there was the customary diamond in the middle, but Lapis couldn’t tell which gem she offered her allegiance to - all colors came through the cell wall as yellow. Her gem was round, on the back of her left hand, which was holding what looked like a two pronged spear with an oval shape suspended in the middle. For a sickening moment Lapis thought it was a gem and felt panic rise in her throat before she realized it was just a ball of energy. Lapis straightened, her head bowed deferentially.

“Please. I was just trying to get home.” Lapis spoke quietly, trying not to let defiance creep into her tone. She raised her eyes to meet the other gem’s gaze, but found her instead examining the two pronged instrument instead.

“Let’s hear your name and rank. And then I expect to hear a very, very good story about how you came through a gate that’s been cut off for almost 5,000 years, which leads to a planet controlled by gem traitors and yet think we should just let you fly ‘home’.” The gem crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall. She met Lapis’ gaze, her eyes cold. Lapis nodded slowly, and took a deep breath.

“My name is Lapis Lazuli. I belong to Blue Diamond’s 3rd beveled unit as a communications technician. Or I belonged.” Lapis faltered. The other gem merely raised her eyebrows. Something that had been bothering her clicked in Lapis’ brain. “Why do you look so human?”

“It’s the most practical way to be,” the other gem shrugged. Lapis wasn’t sure what to make of that. The gem was round in ways a human wouldn’t be, but details she rarely saw before the war were there, hands with five fingers, hair, two eyes with eyebrows, nose and mouth. “I’m asking the questions. I believe you owe me a story.” The other gem shifted impatiently, pushing long wavy hair over her shoulder. Lapis mentally shook herself; she could figure out the gem’s appearance later.

“My unit was sent primarily for reconnaissance, I relayed information back to Homeworld. I would fly to our satellite, where we believed the Crystal Gems wouldn’t catch our transmissions. It worked for a while, but eventually the spot was compromised and I was captured.” Lapis’ eyes were distant remembering it.

She had set up a satellite fixed miles above her unit’s camp, and would send a prerecorded message that was relayed through the Great Crystal Gate. It had been a normal day, nothing even particularly shocking in the message. When she was almost at her satellite she was a large piece had been smashed off. Thinking space debris must have collided with it she’d flown right in. As she approached the damaged site hands grabbed her, something stabbed through her gut from behind. She tried to hold on and fight, but she’d been too far from the water to make her attempts to fight back seem anything but pathetic. That was the last time she’d been out of her gem for 5,000 years.

“They imprisoned me in my gem, almost immediately.” Lapis decided not to mention in what. She had never heard of a gem who had once been a tool returning to everyday life. “A human found me and let me go. I flew myself to the gate. They hadn’t destroyed it, just taken out the focal gem. I put it back in, it reactivated and then you ... found me.” Lapis crossed her arms and stared at the other gem, hoping her nervousness didn’t show. She hadn’t lied yet and didn’t want to - it would feel too disloyal. She was worried about peaking the interest of anyone on homeworld though. She didn’t want to bring harm to Steven. He’d been so kind.

“A human let you go? Why?”

“Why do they do anything?” Lapis shrugged, exuding more disinterest than she felt. “He didn’t know I was a person if that’s what you mean. He didn’t know I was going to come out.” The other gem scrutinized Lapis, her eyes taking in her posture, her expression. As the silence grew, Lapis felt heat rise to her face. This was all wrong, she was almost home now and this gem was interrogating her like she was some kind of criminal. She’d given up everything for her homeworld. “Is that all? Will you let me go?” Lapis could hear the hint of defiance creep into her voice, she crossed her arms.The gem’s expression turned thoughtful, running a hand through her hair.

“It’s ultimately not up to me,” She sounded almost apologetic. Then she frowned, “You didn’t see any gem crafts when you were flying from Earth did you?”

“No... ” Lapis frowned in return, that was an unexpected question. She cocked her head questioning. The other gem shook her head dismissively.

“It’s of little consequence,” the other gem frowned at the floor this time. “I’ll need to get Yellow Diamond’s approval, or at least one of her subordinates. You may have to tell your story again once we’re on homeworld.” The other gem turned to leave.

“Yellow Diamond? But … I belong to Blue Diamond! Surely-” Lapis was cut off, the round gem turned back.

“You mean you don’t know? When were you captured?” Her captors face was completely incredulous.

“I was captured maybe 30 or 40 Earth years into the war.” Lapis’ voice rose. “What don’t I know?” The other gems face fell from incredulity to just surprise.

“Interesting.” The gem paused looking into the distance, thinking. Then she just looked at Lapis a little sadly. “The only Diamond is Yellow Diamond.” She turned away again.

“What are you talking about?!” Lapis almost shouted, her captor was walking away. “Come back! Answer me!” She slapped both hands against the yellow light, forgetting the earlier warning. Intense pain shot like lightning up her arms making them momentarily disappear. She screamed and fell backwards.

She wasn’t sure how long she stayed in her cell alone, but she guessed it had been a day when she felt the distinctive rumbling that meant they were entering homeworld’s atmosphere. This hadn’t been how she had pictured her home-coming. She wished she could watch.  She pulled her knees up to her chest, and rested her chin on them. She wondered what city they would land in. She wondered what would be new, how territory would work if Yellow Diamond was really the only leader left. Lapis waited in her cell for a few more hours before the gem she had talked to returned. Lapis scrambled to her feet. The other gem stared at her expressionless.

“You will be assigned a monitor as probation for the next century. Failure to the comply with orders from your monitor will result in consequences.” Then the gems face broke into the first genuine smile she had seen. “Otherwise, you’re free to go. I’m Carnelian by the way,” Carnelian punched a code into the wall next to Lapis’ door and the yellow light fell away, revealing a brownish orange gem, wearing a black trimmed red jumper with a yellow diamond in the center. She pushed light orange hair over her shoulder. “We’re in Ice Spire city, your monitor will also be responsible for helping you reintegrate. You’ll have a lot to catch up on.”

“Th-that’s it?” Lapis asked, hesitating at the threshold of the cell. Carnelian had said Ice Spire City, that was the Capital of Blue Diamond’s territory. Or it had been. She had spent her first millennia only a couple hundred miles north where the ice melted into lakes and she had learned to play tricks with water. Lapis stared at Carnelian, hope and fear mixed equally as she tried to both believe and disbelieve.

“I showed them the recording of our conversation, and they decided your story checked out.” Carnelian gave Lapis a kind smile and held out a hand to her. “You’re home now.” Lapis looked from the gem to the proffered hand and took it, trembling.

“Thank you.” Lapis’ voice came out in a whisper. She hesitantly took a step out of her cell. Nothing stopped her. She looked back at Carnelian who was still smiling kindly at her, and in an unexpected surge of happiness she hugged the other gem. Carnelian, surprised, returned the hug awkwardly. Lapis felt the awkwardness of the moment, the breach of etiquette, and didn’t care. She started to giggle instead. She broke away apologizing between fits of giggling.

The joy of that moment wore away slowly for Lapis. When she stepped off the ship the skyline she remembered had changed dramatically. It was as if industry had taken over in a way that it never had before. It was strange, her first walk through the city, flashing signs on what seemed like every corner. What had been smooth and graceful stone carvings were now replaced with sharp angles in metal and glass. Every gem she passed seemed to have at least one piece of tech on her for something. She couldn’t imagine where the power for all of this was coming from. Seeing so much tech would have been unthinkable in her time.

The gem she was passed to, Smoke Quartz, was nice enough but didn’t have much compassion for how removed Lapis was from what had happened on Homeworld. Smoke Quartz had been trying to rush her back into something she could do, and had been pushing all sorts of jobs relating to technology. Lapis had never been challenged by technology before the war - she’d been a communications technician - but now she was stumped by things that appeared simple for other gems. What was worse was so much of tech was made to fit human standards, which served as an inescapable reminder of where she had been trapped. Worse than that was the slow creeping horror as she found more and more of the new tech was powered by whole gems, not fragments. Did you even wonder who I used to be? The line she threw in the faces of the Crystal Gems haunted her as she noticed each new gem and forced herself to wonder.

Even with Smoke Quartz checking on her once a day, Lapis felt so isolated. Carnelian left after only a day, returning to her patrol. Walking down the busy streets everyone was a stranger, a million miles and 5 millennia past the war she had only just escaped from. Lapis didn’t know how to go about finding anyone she could talk to. She had spent a couple days working up the nerve to go into the hall of records, only to sit there in front of an information terminal too afraid to even look up any of her past friends. She was just too afraid to find out who was dead. The name she did type in finally was moonstone, but of course with no more context on the gem, she had no way of know which of the ten thousand or so results belonged to the gem in the gate, if any of them even did. After that day she just wandered in her free time hoping she’d meet someone she used to know, or that someone would take notice. She spent about two weeks this way when she got the call: a gem named Peridot wanted to meet her and talk about what she had seen on Earth.


	3. The Meeting

“- and despite that, there I was on Earth in full confidence of the red eye report of no gem activity on this planet, when three gems popped up behind this ‘Steven’ and started smashing all my machines!” Peridot had worked herself into quite a rage while recounting her encounter with Earth. “They called themselves, oh... what was it? ‘The Crystal Gems’? They destroyed my Redeye too! Do you KNOW how hard those are to replace? Those gems need to be put down immediately.” Peridot seemed to have finally stopped and looked expectantly around the table for a response. Lapis glanced at the hulking orange and yellow Jasper, whose elbow rested on the arm of her chair, her chin on one fist, and had her legs crossed: the picture of boredom. Jasper returned the glance, her eyes flicking up and down Lapis in a quick once over, before returning to Peridot.

“Just three?” Jasper’s tone was flat and bored. “None of them were Rose Quartz?” Peridot sputtered.

“There were only three there but who knows how many there are on that planet! The Red Eye was completely destroyed! We are completely without intel!” Peridot glared at Jasper. Jasper rolled her eyes.

“Isn’t that what you called _her_ in for?”Jasper turned in her chair to face Lapis. Lapis looked at her lap. She thought she had finally rid herself of that place, only to find it being dredged up again. She didn’t really want to tell them about the Crystal Gems because it would put Steven in danger, but on the other hand... It was the crystal gems fault she’d been trapped. Jasper drummed her fingers on the table impatiently. “Well? Did you see other gems or not?”

“I did. Three. Actually four, two were fused.” Lapis spoke very quietly, not raising her eyes from her lap.

“Ew.” Peridot wrinkled her nose at the mention of fusion. Jasper got up from her chair and walked around the table to tower over Lapis. She looked down at Lapis coldly.

“And why wasn’t this in your report?” Jasper’s voice was almost a growl. Lapis sighed impatiently and met the enormous gem’s gaze with a hint of defiance in her eyes. She stood up as well, though it didn’t help bridge the difference.

“Does it matter? I’m telling you now.” Lapis poured as much ice into her tone as possible. Jasper leaned down, backing Lapis into the table.

“If you’re withheld information you might be one of them,” Jasper leaned so far forward that Lapis’s nose almost touched Jasper’s gem. Lapis tried to pull back but was as far back against the table as she could go. “I’d hate to find a reason to question your loyalty,” Jasper said, gruff but quiet. Lapis glared in response.

“Who do you think you’re talking to?! The “Crystal Gems” forced me into my gem, and then left me there! Trapped! For millennia! If you crushed each one of them into a fine powder, I couldn’t be happier.” Lapis said it with such venom that Jasper drew back an inch, one corner of her mouth curling into a smile.

“I believe you,” and with that Jasper walked back around the table. Peridot, who had kept silent for the exchange, cleared her throat.

“Will one of you please explain what a Crystal Gem is?” Peridot received two exasperated looks. Lapis sighed.

“It’s what the Crystal System Rebels called themselves. They believed that the sanctity of life on the planet outweighed the needs of their own kind.” Lapis really did hate them. “It probably wouldn’t have gotten much traction if a Di-” Jasper cut in.

“They’re enemies to Yellow Diamond. That’s all you need to know.” Jasper’s voice was firm. Peridot frowned and crossed her arms. Lapis shot a confused glance at Jasper.

“Fine.” Peridot’s voice was cold. Four of her fingers formed a console, Peridot used her other hand to tap something, the console then began reflecting Peridot’s face. “Log Date 328, now recording Lapis Lazuli’s witness testimony to gem activity on Crystal System Colony Earth.” The screen swiveled and began reflecting Lapis instead. “Lapis, can you elaborate on the appearance of the three gems you encountered?” Lapis felt a pit turn in her stomach, it was so like the mirror, and yet it didn’t seem to be powered by a gem, unless... she looked at Peridot’s gem.

“How does that work?” Lapis asked, genuinely curious, and forgetting Peridot’s question. Peridot for her part looked extremely pleased.

“Well! -” She was quickly cut off by Jasper slamming her hand on the table.

“I don’t have time for this. Get to the point.,” Jasper growled. Peridot huffed, but turned to Lapis expectantly.

“I was ... kept ... mostly by a Pearl. When I escaped there was a fusion calling herself Garnet and a stunted Amethyst.” Lapis stared at nothing in particular; she didn’t like talking about them. Those gems had taken so much from her. Jasper’s expression turned thoughtful.

“A fusion and a pearl, huh?” She said the words slowly as if working something out in her head, “But no sign of Rose Quartz.” Jasper’s eyes narrowed as she considered Lapis’ words. Lapis felt another twist in her stomach. The pink bubble, healing powers. But that was crazy! If Steven was Rose Quartz there was no way Lapis would be free right now. Right? She was torn between loyalty to homeworld and protecting Steven. The silence grew, which was probably making the other gem suspicious. Lapis grasped for something to say.

“They had portrait of Rose Quartz inside their base, but I never saw her aside from that.” Lapis shrugged.

“Their base?” Jasper raised her eyebrows.

“Where do you think they kept me?” Lapis met Jasper’s eyes levelly.

“What did it look like?”

“They built a human style dwelling in front of it, but it was a stone temple carved as an enormous fusion.” Lapis tried to remember more details, but her thoughts were interrupted when she noticed Jasper’s grin. There was something almost hungry behind it. Jasper abruptly stood up.

“Wait here.” Jasper started walking to the door.

“Jasper! Where are-?!” Peridot started to object but the door closed before she could finish. “Hmph! Well, why don’t we keep talking. Tell me more about their base.” Peridot gave Lapis a cold smile. Lapis sighed inwardly, but nodded and let Peridot prod her for every detail she was worth. She tried to suppress the twinges of guilt she felt; Steven had chosen the Gems, hadn’t he? It’s not like they would ever see each other again; it would best for her if she just put him from her mind.

“One last thing, did you encounter the Steven?” Peridot asked looking satisfied. Lapis stiffened. Well, moment of truth.

“I -” She was cut off as Jasper threw open the door, the wolfish grin apparently still on her face.

“We have an audience with Yellow Diamond.”

Lapis stood up, startled. Peridot stared at Jasper, her mouth hanging open.

“R-right now?” Peridot adjusted her visor. Jasper nodded. “I wasn’t prepared to present the results of my research yet.”

“Well, I see you two have a lot to do, I’ll let myself out.” Lapis said slowly edging towards the door.

“You’re coming too.” Jasper leaned in the doorway, blocking the exit.

“Why? I’m just an informant. I’m not part of your mission.”

“You know the most about the current situation on Earth. You’d be an asset in the field.” Jasper’s tone was strangely earnest. Lapis felt heat rise to her face. She hadn’t found anywhere she’d belong here yet. Maybe she could best serve the empire by helping with Earth operations. She’d spent more of her life on that planet than homeworld, she thought dully.

“I can’t go back there,” the words came out as whisper. Jasper’s face fell, her expression reproachful.

“This isn’t a negotiation, if you want to complain take it up with Yellow Diamond. Either way we need to go.” Having said what she wanted to say, Jasper turned and walked away without checking to see if they followed. Lapis and Peridot exchanged startled glances, then rushed after Jasper.

~=~=~=~

The three gems stood outside the palace gate. Their audience with Yellow Diamond had been followed up with a tour of the ship and demonstration of the tech it could use. Lapis felt shaken to the core of her gem. Swearing fealty like that to Yellow Diamond in Blue Diamond’s own hall had felt like a betrayal of everything she had fought for, but Lapis could feel the power radiating off of the great leader; there was no question that she would obey. Not if Lapis wanted any chance of reclaiming a place on homeworld. Then seeing the power of the ship, fashioned like a human hand... It took everything Lapis had not to run.

She snuck a glance at the other two. Jasper seemed to be taking some grim satisfaction from the scenario. Peridot was harder to read. She fidgeted with her machines. She was being given an amazing ship, but the threat leveled at Peridot for failure was not lost on Lapis either, any more than the one leveled at herself. Lapis shivered; she could still feel Yellow Diamond’s fingers on her gem.

“Right, I expect to see the both of you at the Ice Spaceport at 6 hundred hours sharp two days from now.” Peridot nodded to both of them in what Lapis guessed she thought was a commanding way and marched off.

“Looks like you’ll get your wish of seeing those gems crushed into a fine powder.” Jasper grinned down at Lapis. Lapis forced herself to smile back. She had to warn Steven, the gems had no chance if they fought. A large hand fell on her shoulder, Jasper locked eyes with Lapis her face taking on that strangely earnest expression. “I can tell you’re scared, kid, but you’ll do fine.” Jasper nodded once for emphasis then let Lapis go and turned walking back towards the palace.

“I’m... not really a kid.” Lapis called after Jasper, who merely snorted and waved a hand without looking. Lapis stared after her a bit dazed for a moment. _Steven. Must. Warn. Steven._ She shook her head to clear it and flew off into the night.

~=~=~=~

When Lapis got back to her quarters at the hostel, Smoke Quartz was waiting for her. She had a particularly cross expression on her face. Lapis suddenly remembered they were supposed to meet hours ago.

“Smoke Quartz, I’m so sorry, but I - I’m not even sure where to start.” Lapis closed the door to her small room behind her. There were a number of empty shelves and cabinets, a square table with two well stuffed chairs, and a desk with a communication terminal. Smoke Quartz was sitting at the table, Lapis fell into the other chair. “You remember I was meeting a Peridot who was going to interview me about Earth, right?” The other gem nodded slowly. Lapis explained the meeting with Peridot and Jasper leading to her audience with Yellow Diamond and her new assignment to return to Earth almost immediately. Smoke Quartz’s expression became increasingly astonished throughout Lapis’ story.

“Well. That. That is quite the honor.” Smoke Quartz finally said when Lapis finished speaking, offering a weak smile. Smoke Quartz seemed shaken herself. Lapis felt a shiver run down her spine starting from where her gem had been touched. _An honor indeed._ “May I provide any assistance in preparation for your mission?” Lapis was about to politely decline, when her brain started working very quickly.

“In all the excitement, I forgot to say I went to the hall of records this morning and finally looked up an old friend.” Lapis said casually. Smoke Quartz lit up at that, she had been encouraging Lapis to reach out to old connections to help herself reintegrate. “She’s living off world, in the Ore system colony. I want to contact her, but I don’t know how to record a message with all this new tech.” Lapis smiled helplessly hoping, Smoke Quartz didn’t sense her deception.

“Naturally. This is wonderful Lapis. This will be a great thing for you too look forward to upon your return.” Smoke Quartz guided Lapis to the communication terminal at the desk and began point out programs to record an image of oneself.

“What if I just wanted to send my voice?” Lapis asked in what she hoped was an innocent tone.

“Why in Diamond’s name would you want to do something like that? Nowaday, we send videos, my dear.” Smoke Quartz gave her something of a condescending smile. Lapis nodded slowly. Smoke Quartz showed her the program used to send messages to other worlds. Lapis mildly asked questions about how the communication technology worked now. While Smoke Quartz only had very basic answers, she was pleased Lapis was showing an interest in the modern developments of her old utility.

“I know I won’t have much time before I go, but is there somewhere I could read up on these new protocols?” Lapis asked.

“Absolutely! The hall of records, is probably the best place to start. They’ll have histories of the development as well as public records of schematics. If you’re lucky they might even have a specialist in. When you get back we can enroll you in some classes at the university if you like!” Smoke Quartz positively beamed.

“I think I might like that.” Lapis couldn’t help but smile back, and really thinking about it, she decided that statement was true. She’d liked it before, she’d even had some talent for it. Maybe she should try and catch up. Lapis looked back at the screen. “I guess I’ll have to send this tomorrow, I wrote down her contact info, but I think I misplaced it in all the excitement. Talk to you tomorrow night?” Smoke Quartz nodded, seeming extremely pleased.

“Of course, my dear. Take care, and let me know if you think of anything I can help you with.” She waved and let herself out. With Smoke Quartz out the door Lapis felt the panic start to rise. She knew what she needed to do now, she just hoped it would be enough.


End file.
